a year’s worth of Tuesdays
I have big news.
Five minutes ago, I finished my Chrysalis edits. This is why I’m a day late for my post. Last night I wasn’t done and I was so close and I decided I wasn’t stopping for anything. I’m actually ready to let people read my book and tell me what they think. If they’ve read Chrysalis before, I really want the reaction to be, “Oh my gosh, this is so much better.”
So, a little background on why this happened this week as opposed to all the other weeks I said I was going to finish and didn’t. Saturday was the one year anniversary for when I finished the complete rewrite. I spent Saturday in a funk, telling myself I was an abject failure for doing something so awesome a year ago and not following through with any sort of timeliness. After all, I “let” myself get writing sick, right? I was only doing silly little histories and alternate Chrysalis realities and future books that had no business being written. I wasn’t seriously writing or editing or even rough drafting.
I was a freaking failure and never going to realize my impossible dream.
Sunday was pretty awful too but for reasons having nothing to do with writing. I woke up Monday morning and something flipped in my brain. It just switched. Gwynne, I said to myself, stop being an idiot. You’ve got this.
I opened up Chrysalis and was reminded of so many things.
- One: This draft is freaking amazing. I fixed so many pacing and plot problems. I’m sure it’s got new issues but that doesn’t mean I can’t fix them.
- Two: The histories and alternate realities have taught me how to reimagine my plot, potential scenes, and how to rewrite things I originally thought were set in stone. Because nothing is set in stone. It’s set in a word document.
- Three: I rewrote the last third of the book in two days. Like completely rewrote it.
- Four: I cut two entire chapters and had to rewrite entire chunks from the alternative point of view.
- Five: My dream isn’t impossible because I’m a writer. I’ve written every day for over a year. That’s never going to change. Eventually, I will write a book that will get an agent and be published. It may not be Chrysalis but that’s hardly my only or best idea.
- Six: Resistance isn’t the boss of me. I can do anything I freaking want. I went from yellow to green sash in four months and that’s way harder than writing.
- Seven: I’m awesome and don’t need to apologize for it.
Next week, I’ll have a query letter.